This letter has been around for a while, but I thought I would share it as it's the easiest way to explain what I suffer from on a daily basis. Although I have hashimoto's I am not my illness! I have prevailed for 13 years with it and continue to fight the debilitation effects of it on a daily basis. I have fought my doctor for the much needed help I deserve for some time now, I'm ready to throw in the towel and find a new doctor who will hear my needs and struggles!
I don't discuss my health issues for pity, sympathy or attention, I discuss my health issues for understanding and support! I never fully understood what I was suffering from, therefore I always kept it a secret because I felt that I was somehow damaged, but it's just the luck of the draw and I gain strength to push through it everyday. I'm not damaged I'm damn strong! "The only thing tough enough to kick my ass is me!"
I hope this helps another young women diagnosed with this scary debilitating disease gain some understanding of what's going on inside their bodies and minds! To know that they know they are not alone!
Hi. My name is Hashimoto's.
I'm an invisible autoimmune
disease that attacks your thyroid gland causing you to become
hypothyroid. I am now velcroed to you for life.
If you have hypothyroidism, you probably have me. I am the number one
cause of it in the U.S. and many other places around the world. I'm so sneaky--I don't always show up in your blood work. Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyway I please. I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over. Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun? I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now. I can take good sleep from you and in its place, give you brain fog and lack of concentration. I can make you want to sleep 24/7, and I can also cause insomnia. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything. I
can make you feel very anxious with panic attacks or very depressed. I
can also cause other mental health problems. You know crazy mood
swings? That's me. Crying for no reason? Angry for no reason? That's
probably me too. I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me. I
can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you
exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you lose
weight. I don't discriminate.
Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with. If
you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I
can take that away from you. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for
various reasons:
That virus or viruses you had
that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it
was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress). You may have a
family history of me. Whatever the cause, I'm here to stay. I
hear you're going to see a doctor to try and get rid of me. That makes
me laugh. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you
find one who can help you effectively. You will
be put on the wrong medication for you, pain pills, sleeping pills,
energy pills; told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given
anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants. There are
so many other ways I can make you sick and miserable, the list is
endless - that high cholesterol, gallbladder issue, blood pressure
issue, blood sugar issue, heart issue among others? That's probably me. Can't get pregnant, or have had a miscarriage? That's probably me too. Shortness of breath or "air hunger?" Yep, probably me. Liver enzymes elevated? Yep, probably me. Teeth and gum problems? TMJ? Hives? Yep, probably me. I told you the list was endless.
You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away. You'll
be told to think positively, you'll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL,
not taken seriously when you try to explain to the endless number of
doctors you've seen, just how debilitating I am and how ill and
exhausted you really feel. In all probability you will get a referral from these 'understanding' (clueless) doctors, to see a psychiatrist. Your
family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just
get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how
debilitating I can be. Some of them will say
things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day." or "Well, remember, you
can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago.", not hearing that you
said 20 DAYS ago. They'll also say things like, "If you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you'll feel
better." They won't understand that I take away the 'gas' that powers
your body and mind to ENABLE you to do those things. Some will start talking behind your back, they'll call you a
hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity
trying to make them understand, especially if you are in the middle of a
conversation with a "normal" person, and can't remember what you were
going to say next.
You'll be told things like, "Oh, my grandmother had
that, and she's fine on her medication" when you desperately want to
explain that I don't impose myself upon everyone in the exact same way,
and just because that grandmother is fine on the medication SHE'S
taking, doesn't mean it will work for you. They
will not understand that having this disease impacts your body from the
top of your head to the tip of your toes, and that every cell and every
body system and organ requires the proper amount and the right kind of
of thyroid hormone medication for YOU. Not what works for someone else. The
only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in
dealing with me is with other people that have me. They are really the
only ones who can truly understand.
I am Hashimoto's Disease.
Friday 13 December 2013
Friday 8 March 2013
Easy Apple Tapioca Pudding
This pudding is something that has been made many times in my family. Although it was the first time I've made it. Realizing we only had the french version (accidentally kept the wrong recipe), I searched online for the same recipe as what I'm used to enjoying and came up short! There are many apple tapioca pudding recipes, but they either made large batches or were too be cooked in a slow cooker! So I will put my recipe out there!
It's simple and delicious! Can be a topping for a vanilla cake or ice cream would be lovely too! It's a great way to use up inedible apples too!
Apple Tapioca Pudding:
6 Servings
4 medium or large apples (6 small)- peeled, cored, and sliced
1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons small pearl tapioca
1 teaspoon margarine
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 cup warm water
Place all ingredients in a medium sauce pan. Heat on medium heat, lightly stir to coat the apples. Bring to a slow boil, stirring to avoid over cooking or sticking. Cook for 15-20 minutes on medium to low heat, mixture should have a light boil. You will begin to see the small white tapioca pearls grow and become clear. The pudding will began to thicken, once the pearls are clear, remove from heat and let stand for 3-5 minutes. Best served warm!
The amount of cinnamon can be increased or decreased depending on individual tastes, can also add nutmeg or all spice to give it more of an apple pie flavor!
It's simple and delicious! Can be a topping for a vanilla cake or ice cream would be lovely too! It's a great way to use up inedible apples too!
6 Servings
4 medium or large apples (6 small)- peeled, cored, and sliced
1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons small pearl tapioca
1 teaspoon margarine
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 cup warm water
Place all ingredients in a medium sauce pan. Heat on medium heat, lightly stir to coat the apples. Bring to a slow boil, stirring to avoid over cooking or sticking. Cook for 15-20 minutes on medium to low heat, mixture should have a light boil. You will begin to see the small white tapioca pearls grow and become clear. The pudding will began to thicken, once the pearls are clear, remove from heat and let stand for 3-5 minutes. Best served warm!
The amount of cinnamon can be increased or decreased depending on individual tastes, can also add nutmeg or all spice to give it more of an apple pie flavor!Sunday 16 September 2012
Kitchen Adventures
Being vegan there are limits to the choices of junk food you can indulge in easily, by easily I mean ability to pick something up at the grocery or corner store. I've been eying Cadbury's Toasted Coconut Cashew chocolate bar, I love cashew's and coconut so I thought why not make my own rendition of said chocolate bar. With my dad's birthday coming up next week I was at the local chocolate and nut store picking up some mixed nuts he so enjoys and saw a rather large 78% dark chocolate bar and thought it was the perfect way to make my own Toasted Coconut Cashew chocolate! I also picked up some cashew's there as I know they are always delicious and some coconut at the grocery store. Although next time I would like to find unsweetened large flake coconut, having only seen the exact coconut I'm looking for in Stratford I settled for what was available to me in the moment.
I decided to make the chocolate early because my dad has his longest day of the week tomorrow teaching in Toronto. He was just finishing up in the kitchen when I started so he actually decided to join in and toast the cashews and coconut for me, he does that sometimes!
I have not perfected a recipe and probably never will, but I will give a basic recipe and measurements I used or will be using when made again.
Toasted Coconut Cashew Chocolate Bark
1/2-3/4 cup flaked coconut
3/4-1 cup chopped cashews
2-3 cups dark chocolate
Prepare a small square or rectangle (depending on the desired thickness) baking pan, with parchment paper or greased with margarine and set aside. Melt the chocolate in a large metal or glass bowl over a boiling pot of water. Having enough water in the bottom of the pot to just touch the bowl, making sure the bowl is big enough to cover the entire pot if not be immersed in the pot as you do not want to get water in the chocolate or it will ruin the melted chocolate. (I do not have a double boiler, and have a hard time melting chocolate in the microwave without burning it or over cooking it). As the chocolate is melting place the cashews in a frying pan on medium to high heat depending on your stove temperature. Tossing the cashews lighty for 3-5 mins until golden brown, you will start to smell the cashews; tasting it to get the desired toast. Add the cashews to the melted chocolate and place the coconut in the same frying pan as it takes less time to toast (especially if it's sweetened coconut, it will burn easily), lighty toast the coconut and add it to the chocolate and cashew mixture. Spread out the chocolate into your prepared pan and let cool for 5 minutes before placing the pan in the freezer for 30-45 minutes or until hardened. Cut into desired sizes and enjoy!
I have never written down a recipe I made up, so I hope this is processable for anyone who chooses to try it! It turned out wonderfully, rich due to the dark chocolate but so delicious with the toasted cashews and coconut. You can use any nuts you desire as well as chocolate, I may even try doing the same thing with dried cranberries or blueberries for Christmas goodies! If you wish to make it into more of a chocolate bar as I had originally planned you can use more chocolate and just place the nuts and coconut in the bottom of the pan before pouring the chocolate evenly over the base and voila you have a homemade chocolate bar!
I have never tried the "real" chocolate bar as it's milk chocolate but my rendition is pretty spot on delicious if I don't say so myself. And considering my dad had devoured 1/4 of the pan after 45mins of it being in the freezer says a lot! I don't deny that he is a desert fanatic, but he also has a taste for dark chocolate and knows what chocolates he does and does not enjoy!
I decided to make the chocolate early because my dad has his longest day of the week tomorrow teaching in Toronto. He was just finishing up in the kitchen when I started so he actually decided to join in and toast the cashews and coconut for me, he does that sometimes!
I have not perfected a recipe and probably never will, but I will give a basic recipe and measurements I used or will be using when made again.
Toasted Coconut Cashew Chocolate Bark
1/2-3/4 cup flaked coconut
3/4-1 cup chopped cashews
2-3 cups dark chocolate
Prepare a small square or rectangle (depending on the desired thickness) baking pan, with parchment paper or greased with margarine and set aside. Melt the chocolate in a large metal or glass bowl over a boiling pot of water. Having enough water in the bottom of the pot to just touch the bowl, making sure the bowl is big enough to cover the entire pot if not be immersed in the pot as you do not want to get water in the chocolate or it will ruin the melted chocolate. (I do not have a double boiler, and have a hard time melting chocolate in the microwave without burning it or over cooking it). As the chocolate is melting place the cashews in a frying pan on medium to high heat depending on your stove temperature. Tossing the cashews lighty for 3-5 mins until golden brown, you will start to smell the cashews; tasting it to get the desired toast. Add the cashews to the melted chocolate and place the coconut in the same frying pan as it takes less time to toast (especially if it's sweetened coconut, it will burn easily), lighty toast the coconut and add it to the chocolate and cashew mixture. Spread out the chocolate into your prepared pan and let cool for 5 minutes before placing the pan in the freezer for 30-45 minutes or until hardened. Cut into desired sizes and enjoy!
I have never written down a recipe I made up, so I hope this is processable for anyone who chooses to try it! It turned out wonderfully, rich due to the dark chocolate but so delicious with the toasted cashews and coconut. You can use any nuts you desire as well as chocolate, I may even try doing the same thing with dried cranberries or blueberries for Christmas goodies! If you wish to make it into more of a chocolate bar as I had originally planned you can use more chocolate and just place the nuts and coconut in the bottom of the pan before pouring the chocolate evenly over the base and voila you have a homemade chocolate bar!
I have never tried the "real" chocolate bar as it's milk chocolate but my rendition is pretty spot on delicious if I don't say so myself. And considering my dad had devoured 1/4 of the pan after 45mins of it being in the freezer says a lot! I don't deny that he is a desert fanatic, but he also has a taste for dark chocolate and knows what chocolates he does and does not enjoy!
Wednesday 29 August 2012
Tempeherley Addicted
My tempeh addiction began when I ventured to Cafe Pyrus in Kitchener Ontario and enjoyed a breakfast wrap with tempeh bacon. Having gone a second time I enjoyed their ceasar salad also with tempeh bacon! Tempeh is very versatile, and delicious depending on how it's cooked and what brand you choose to indulge in! The lovelies at Cafe Pyrus suggested I try Henry's Gourmet Tempeh from the local health food store, Henry's is also local, from Kitchener as well (http://www.tempeh.ca/).
I had tried tempeh before from a brand sold at Zehrs but I wasn't a fan of the texture or even the taste. Thinking it was probably just personal preference I didn't divulge into the tempeh experience again... until Cafe Pyrus. I purchased the red pepper tempeh and quickly tried it by making tempeh clubs the very next day! I was super impressed with how easily it cooked up on a frying pan and how delicious it tasted as my "meat" in my sandwich. I had half of the package left, so I decided to make another club with it this evening for dinner. On said club (picture to follow) I put vegenaise, daiya, tomato, and lettuce with a little BBQ sauce brushed on the tempeh before being placed on the bun. The first bite was divine, and enjoyed till the very last bite!
If you have not experienced a true tempeh I suggest you look into Henry's Tempeh. Not only is it local but it's also organic, non-GMO, gluten free and vegan of course! Tempeh is so versatile, and the website above suggests recipes and ways that tempeh can be used. I will most certainly look for Henry's at our local health food store and if I'm out of luck I will travel to Kitchener (although not far, but worth it) for Henry's.
I hope soon I can share other recipes made with tempeh! For now care to drool over my delicious tempeh club!
I had tried tempeh before from a brand sold at Zehrs but I wasn't a fan of the texture or even the taste. Thinking it was probably just personal preference I didn't divulge into the tempeh experience again... until Cafe Pyrus. I purchased the red pepper tempeh and quickly tried it by making tempeh clubs the very next day! I was super impressed with how easily it cooked up on a frying pan and how delicious it tasted as my "meat" in my sandwich. I had half of the package left, so I decided to make another club with it this evening for dinner. On said club (picture to follow) I put vegenaise, daiya, tomato, and lettuce with a little BBQ sauce brushed on the tempeh before being placed on the bun. The first bite was divine, and enjoyed till the very last bite!
If you have not experienced a true tempeh I suggest you look into Henry's Tempeh. Not only is it local but it's also organic, non-GMO, gluten free and vegan of course! Tempeh is so versatile, and the website above suggests recipes and ways that tempeh can be used. I will most certainly look for Henry's at our local health food store and if I'm out of luck I will travel to Kitchener (although not far, but worth it) for Henry's.
I hope soon I can share other recipes made with tempeh! For now care to drool over my delicious tempeh club!
Tuesday 14 August 2012
A Blog for A Best Friend
Death; loss in the extreme of the word is tough, never in fact does it change. It will always be tough, no matter how long it's been or how much different your life is from the moment you experienced that loss. Nothing changes, although everything changes! Your life changes, you move on, you grow, you experience new things; but that loss is always with you, no matter where you go, it's apart of you. Death and loss are never something you can run from or hide from, an experience is never something you can pretend never happened.
But there comes a time in the experience where you don't cry all the time, or you aren't completely numb, or you don't feel depressed and saddened. That being because time heals things, you will never get over it completely or forget it but it will get easier. Never will it stop being tough, but easier it will be. Lately, my best friend is the only thing I tend to think about when my mind wanders. In a mere 3 weeks it will be the 5 year anniversary of the loss of my best friend. After 5 years it's still tough, it still brings tears to my eyes to think about the things we did, should have done and would have done as best friends. She was the type of person you just needed to know, I could never explain to anyone fully why she meant so much or why she was such an amazingly adoring person. She had the type of personality that everyone fell in love with, she became everyone's friend, she could make anyone smile and make any situation better. She cared for her friends more then most people would their own family, she showed the most respect to anyone she met, she was just in all words perfect. She found out I had experienced a loss and did not tell her, she cried, she cried for me, and for the pain she knew I was experiencing. That's how much she cared.
She had done so much for me in the 6 years I knew her, more then anyone I've met before or after her presence in my life. She set up the boundaries of what I want in a friend, she would go to hell and back for me, for anyone! That is what I want in a best friend. I've changed so much in the past 5 years, as has my life. For the better though, as much as losing her was the worst thing that could have happened, having her in my life was the best. I grew immensely in many ways, my personality, my life choices, my dreams, my wishes, my strength, courage, willpower, everything. I have her to accredit, because she was a huge inspiration in my life and in her loss. I finally ventured into college, scared to my wits end, but knowing I had strength and courage behind me I trudged through those doors with my head held high. I would never say my life is perfect, has been far from it since my loss. I have experienced a range of emotions and experiences, some good, some not so good. But all worth it in the end.
I often feel that I would do anything to have her back in my life, knowing full well that's not possible. Have I overcome the experience, yes; will I ever stop missing her, no! I will never stop wanting her in my life, our friendship was perfect, she was one of the most important people in my life. I hope I can continue to grow and strengthen as an individual. I hope one day my experiences can change someone's life just as much as she was able to change mine.
"Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets, and don't forget the power in the struggle."
Here's to the friends we have, the friends we lost, and the friends we've yet to make; to the memories we've made, the memories we keep, and the memories we continue to make. Make the best of your choices, and make the best of your friends. Love and respect <3
But there comes a time in the experience where you don't cry all the time, or you aren't completely numb, or you don't feel depressed and saddened. That being because time heals things, you will never get over it completely or forget it but it will get easier. Never will it stop being tough, but easier it will be. Lately, my best friend is the only thing I tend to think about when my mind wanders. In a mere 3 weeks it will be the 5 year anniversary of the loss of my best friend. After 5 years it's still tough, it still brings tears to my eyes to think about the things we did, should have done and would have done as best friends. She was the type of person you just needed to know, I could never explain to anyone fully why she meant so much or why she was such an amazingly adoring person. She had the type of personality that everyone fell in love with, she became everyone's friend, she could make anyone smile and make any situation better. She cared for her friends more then most people would their own family, she showed the most respect to anyone she met, she was just in all words perfect. She found out I had experienced a loss and did not tell her, she cried, she cried for me, and for the pain she knew I was experiencing. That's how much she cared.
She had done so much for me in the 6 years I knew her, more then anyone I've met before or after her presence in my life. She set up the boundaries of what I want in a friend, she would go to hell and back for me, for anyone! That is what I want in a best friend. I've changed so much in the past 5 years, as has my life. For the better though, as much as losing her was the worst thing that could have happened, having her in my life was the best. I grew immensely in many ways, my personality, my life choices, my dreams, my wishes, my strength, courage, willpower, everything. I have her to accredit, because she was a huge inspiration in my life and in her loss. I finally ventured into college, scared to my wits end, but knowing I had strength and courage behind me I trudged through those doors with my head held high. I would never say my life is perfect, has been far from it since my loss. I have experienced a range of emotions and experiences, some good, some not so good. But all worth it in the end.
I often feel that I would do anything to have her back in my life, knowing full well that's not possible. Have I overcome the experience, yes; will I ever stop missing her, no! I will never stop wanting her in my life, our friendship was perfect, she was one of the most important people in my life. I hope I can continue to grow and strengthen as an individual. I hope one day my experiences can change someone's life just as much as she was able to change mine.
"Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets, and don't forget the power in the struggle."
Here's to the friends we have, the friends we lost, and the friends we've yet to make; to the memories we've made, the memories we keep, and the memories we continue to make. Make the best of your choices, and make the best of your friends. Love and respect <3
Wednesday 1 August 2012
Damaged People Are Dangerous; They Know They Can Survive
Often late at night the inspiration to write hits me, like a Tonka truck smack in the face, leaving me unable to turn off my brain! It's something I've been experiencing for a few days now, which lead me to toss and turn unable to sleep. Which is exactly where this blog is derived from. Words are always a consistent thing for me, they come so easily, but are often hard to piece together. Blogging is not a perfect art form, and mine certainly is far from that as you will notice as you read on. My words become jumbled, my thoughts twisted. But I choose to take to this blog tonight to express some of the things I have been feeling lately, but feeling unable to express to any one individual in my life or question the need for anyone to hear about those feelings. So instead I choose for the larger world to experience and dive into my brain if chosen to do so. Crazy how that works, but it leaves me empty and others full! Enjoy the bumpy ride if you choose!
I have a large thirst for knowledge as well as an overwhelming need to succeed! I strive to succeed in anything and everything I put my mind too, it can be viewed as a positive or a negative thing. I for one enjoy meeting others with such hopes, dreams and the willingness to achieve. But I know it can also become tiresome, as I spent most of my days making sure my college education was perfect, I often forgot to live for anything but the knowledge and education I wanted to receive. I walked across the stage to become a college graduate, knowing full well I wasn't stopping there! I was just waiting on that diploma to allow me to further on my journey through education.
I'm not so sure where my thirst for knowledge came from; although I always loved school, not for the social piece but for the classes! I was and still am a full blooded nerd, glasses and all! But my best and most cherished class was English. Essay's loved them (still do)! I would write a paper everyday of the week if it meant I could allow myself and my knowledge to shine through on paper! Yes, I am pretty confident in my smarts, I may not brag or wish to talk about how I feel intellectual, nor express that I enjoy that feeling. I will never judge anyone on their smarts, nor try and make them look less intelligent. But when struck with the statement "describe yourself in one word", I will always say something about my intelligence or smarts, why because it's the one thing I'm confident about.
Earlier this week I received two college transcripts I "ordered." I could not wait to open one up, although I knew if I did the authenticity of it would be invalid! I just knew I had to have a transcript for myself. I had received my diploma in early June but seeing the grades on paper made everything hit home. I realized how much courage, strength, passion, willpower it took me to succeed and achieve all that I did. I know it sounds funny saying that it took courage, strength, passion and willpower to succeed but intelligence did not get me the grades, it did not make me a better person, it did not allow me to walk across that stage. Not in my field of work; you can have all the intelligence you want, but if you don't have the strength, courage, willpower or passion, you will never succeed! Not only am I proud of myself for everything that I did because I'm proud of the grades I received and the red sticker on my diploma stating honors. But I'm proud of myself for the struggles I went through before entering college, as well as the three years I was in college. Many don't know the struggles and hardships I had to face to get to college, or those that got me across that stage in June. But I know all about them, and I know I could not be happier and more proud of myself for everything I did to better my life and the lives of the individuals I choose to work with in the future.
I walked into college the same way I walked out of high school, a scared, shy, withdrawn individual afraid of the larger world waiting for me on the other side. I walked out a much stronger, passionate, courageous, ambitious, motivated, and honest person then the first day anxiously awaiting the arrival of the classmates I would spend the next three years with. I didn't go to college to make friends or party, I went to college to gain knowledge to help me achieve my dreams. As someone who never follows suite I didn't do the "normal" college structure! Why because that wasn't necessary for me. I'm now looking towards university, starting with a certificate in Addictions Education, following that I want to get my BA in Social Work. I'm still not 100% sure what I want to do or where I want to be when I finish my schooling, or when I'm happy with the knowledge I've gained. I just know for now, those are my goals, and that's okay with me. I feel it's more then necessary to be fully educated in every way possible to work with the individuals I choose to work with; and addictions is a huge piece in the field of working with youth, as is mental health which I will continue to become fully educated in that as well. I want to be the change, I want to be that person that people want to turn too, that someone wants to put their trust in. I want to be that person that can help pick an individual up when they're down. I want to be the person that allows others to realize that their pain and struggles won't last forever, that the sun will always shine and that in order to find your true strength you need to fall down, you need to cry and you need to feel. It's all apart of what shapes each and every one of us. I want to be that person that allows others to realize that we all have the strength, courage and willpower to overcome life's biggest obstacles, struggles and hardships. I want to be their poster child for pain!
Lately I have spent many a days thinking about my future, dwelling on the age piece and wondering if I've waited to long to follow my dreams. But then I look back at what has brought me here, and realize if I never waited I would never be here. I would never have followed my dreams fully, or succeeded as I did. So I have my reason to have waited. Life on the other hand choose not to wait for me to catch up, and I will continue to race to catch up. But being a 24 year old college graduate, working to move out with more life experience then some 40 year old's is perfectly fine with me! I will have the house, family, and career I've dreamed of since I was a child. But I may just get there later then others, I see nothing wrong in that. But I have noticed that I need to work harder now to get where I want to be, as a 15 year old life is often handed to you, when your 24 on the road to 25, you have to work your butt off to get what you want! And work my butt off I will! I won't let anyone stand in my way, or hold me back. I have and will continue to let go of the anchors pulling me under. It feels liberating to do so, I question why I never did it before.
I finally have future plans, set and achievable plans, more then just college. Because really where's life after college? Here, at my parents house, working a part-time job, that's not near enough for me! Everyone needs to have those plans, you can't just let life happen, because if you keep waiting for something to happen for you, it won't! You need to go for exactly what you want. If you want to be in a relationship, you have to work for it, or if you want to get that dream job you need to pull your socks up, get off the couch and do something about it! I would never have received honors if I didn't work as hard as I could to get it, I did it by myself for myself. And I will continue to follow suite and achieve what I want.
Realize you have the strength to be anything you want to be. Put your mind too it and believe! <3
I have a large thirst for knowledge as well as an overwhelming need to succeed! I strive to succeed in anything and everything I put my mind too, it can be viewed as a positive or a negative thing. I for one enjoy meeting others with such hopes, dreams and the willingness to achieve. But I know it can also become tiresome, as I spent most of my days making sure my college education was perfect, I often forgot to live for anything but the knowledge and education I wanted to receive. I walked across the stage to become a college graduate, knowing full well I wasn't stopping there! I was just waiting on that diploma to allow me to further on my journey through education.
I'm not so sure where my thirst for knowledge came from; although I always loved school, not for the social piece but for the classes! I was and still am a full blooded nerd, glasses and all! But my best and most cherished class was English. Essay's loved them (still do)! I would write a paper everyday of the week if it meant I could allow myself and my knowledge to shine through on paper! Yes, I am pretty confident in my smarts, I may not brag or wish to talk about how I feel intellectual, nor express that I enjoy that feeling. I will never judge anyone on their smarts, nor try and make them look less intelligent. But when struck with the statement "describe yourself in one word", I will always say something about my intelligence or smarts, why because it's the one thing I'm confident about.
Earlier this week I received two college transcripts I "ordered." I could not wait to open one up, although I knew if I did the authenticity of it would be invalid! I just knew I had to have a transcript for myself. I had received my diploma in early June but seeing the grades on paper made everything hit home. I realized how much courage, strength, passion, willpower it took me to succeed and achieve all that I did. I know it sounds funny saying that it took courage, strength, passion and willpower to succeed but intelligence did not get me the grades, it did not make me a better person, it did not allow me to walk across that stage. Not in my field of work; you can have all the intelligence you want, but if you don't have the strength, courage, willpower or passion, you will never succeed! Not only am I proud of myself for everything that I did because I'm proud of the grades I received and the red sticker on my diploma stating honors. But I'm proud of myself for the struggles I went through before entering college, as well as the three years I was in college. Many don't know the struggles and hardships I had to face to get to college, or those that got me across that stage in June. But I know all about them, and I know I could not be happier and more proud of myself for everything I did to better my life and the lives of the individuals I choose to work with in the future.
I walked into college the same way I walked out of high school, a scared, shy, withdrawn individual afraid of the larger world waiting for me on the other side. I walked out a much stronger, passionate, courageous, ambitious, motivated, and honest person then the first day anxiously awaiting the arrival of the classmates I would spend the next three years with. I didn't go to college to make friends or party, I went to college to gain knowledge to help me achieve my dreams. As someone who never follows suite I didn't do the "normal" college structure! Why because that wasn't necessary for me. I'm now looking towards university, starting with a certificate in Addictions Education, following that I want to get my BA in Social Work. I'm still not 100% sure what I want to do or where I want to be when I finish my schooling, or when I'm happy with the knowledge I've gained. I just know for now, those are my goals, and that's okay with me. I feel it's more then necessary to be fully educated in every way possible to work with the individuals I choose to work with; and addictions is a huge piece in the field of working with youth, as is mental health which I will continue to become fully educated in that as well. I want to be the change, I want to be that person that people want to turn too, that someone wants to put their trust in. I want to be that person that can help pick an individual up when they're down. I want to be the person that allows others to realize that their pain and struggles won't last forever, that the sun will always shine and that in order to find your true strength you need to fall down, you need to cry and you need to feel. It's all apart of what shapes each and every one of us. I want to be that person that allows others to realize that we all have the strength, courage and willpower to overcome life's biggest obstacles, struggles and hardships. I want to be their poster child for pain!
Lately I have spent many a days thinking about my future, dwelling on the age piece and wondering if I've waited to long to follow my dreams. But then I look back at what has brought me here, and realize if I never waited I would never be here. I would never have followed my dreams fully, or succeeded as I did. So I have my reason to have waited. Life on the other hand choose not to wait for me to catch up, and I will continue to race to catch up. But being a 24 year old college graduate, working to move out with more life experience then some 40 year old's is perfectly fine with me! I will have the house, family, and career I've dreamed of since I was a child. But I may just get there later then others, I see nothing wrong in that. But I have noticed that I need to work harder now to get where I want to be, as a 15 year old life is often handed to you, when your 24 on the road to 25, you have to work your butt off to get what you want! And work my butt off I will! I won't let anyone stand in my way, or hold me back. I have and will continue to let go of the anchors pulling me under. It feels liberating to do so, I question why I never did it before.
I finally have future plans, set and achievable plans, more then just college. Because really where's life after college? Here, at my parents house, working a part-time job, that's not near enough for me! Everyone needs to have those plans, you can't just let life happen, because if you keep waiting for something to happen for you, it won't! You need to go for exactly what you want. If you want to be in a relationship, you have to work for it, or if you want to get that dream job you need to pull your socks up, get off the couch and do something about it! I would never have received honors if I didn't work as hard as I could to get it, I did it by myself for myself. And I will continue to follow suite and achieve what I want.
Realize you have the strength to be anything you want to be. Put your mind too it and believe! <3
"I am here for a purpose and that purpose
is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I
apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my
potential until it cries for mercy." -Unknown
Thursday 14 June 2012
Grocery Shopping- How a Vegan Does It!
First and fore most, I love grocery shopping, although it always takes me an hour plus even just for a minimal shopping list! Being vegan I always check labels, and I also compare not only prices but ingredients, sodium, calories, fat content the works! Just because an item is vegan doesn't always mean it doesn't have those hidden ingredients; the additives often found in processed food. I would prefer to spend a dollar more on an organic veggie burger that's made out of vegetables, wheat and spices over a soy protein, sugars, additives and minimal vegetables! But this is where the cost of groceries comes in. I am in no means saying being vegan is cheap or expensive, it simply depends on the items you purchase and sales you choose to indulge in. Me I love sales, 50% off bread because it expires in 2 days, or brown banana's that can be cut up and frozen for smoothies or even 3 heads of broccoli for $5, why not! The broccoli may last me up to two weeks but it's a hearty vegetable that will last that long. If things are 50% off and can be frozen and consumed at a later date, why not buy it! Also when I buy produce I will look it over and make sure I'm getting the best one I can find, why buy something with brown spots or mold already growing on your produce when for the same amount you can get something that will last you! I will always make sure I buy the biggest amount for the same price, if a head of cauliflower is $2.50 I'll get the biggest one I can find.
Today I when grocery shopping and spent $90 dollars for about half a cart full of items! Not the best shop I have done, although some items where things I wouldn't normally be purchasing. Things such as ginger-ale and fruit popsicles for my sick mom. Most of my cart was fruit and vegetables, things like; 2 containers of blueberries, 2 large bunches of broccoli, 3lb bag of carrots, romaine hearts, and baby cucumbers. I also was able to find two 50% off breads, hummus, veggie burgers, vegan mayo, nutritional yeast, vegan cheese, popsicles, ginger-ale (as mentioned), vegetable broth, canned tomatoes, and multi-grain pretzels (my indulgence). It doesn't seem like much when I list the items purchased, which got me to thinking... half of the items purchased I could make myself for a fraction of the cost! Tree hugging, hippy, veg head speaking! When looking for all fruit popsicle I realized that the second ingredient on said popsicle was sugar, first being blueberries! They were on sale for $4.99 for 6, but I spent $5.00 on two pints of blueberries, so I thought I could use the blueberries and coconut water to make my own fruit popsicles, if only I had popsicle containers to do so! If they weren't required this evening, I would have purchased a popsicle container or two at the dollar store and made my own, which I will start doing anyways!
Again when I put 3 cans of diced tomatoes in my cart I thought, why not make and can my own diced tomatoes, and even spaghetti sauce (which I've already decided to do anyways). Tomatoes, and spaghetti sauce are a staple around here, just like canned beans and legumes are! I not only have canned beans and legumes I also have bags and bags of dried beans and legumes just waiting to be made up for things such as hummus and soups! I was quite reluctant to buy a $4.50 hummus, but at the end of the shopping trip I caved because I wanted hummus! It was too much of a convenience for me to pick it up then it would have been to soak the beans and cook them to then process them into my own hummus! But I want to get away from the convenience piece of things, convenience foods are not always good for you foods! A ingredient list on store bought hummus can be 10 ingredients long, the ingredient list on my homemade hummus is 5 ingredients long, most of those ingredients being spices! If I had the ability to make vegan cheese and vegan mayo I probably would want to do that too, because frankly I'm getting fed up with the rising prices of vegan food choices! Although being vegan will never be as expensive as a meat eaters grocery bill would be, I can spend $5.29 on a package of vegan cheese, where your lucky to get the same amount of dairy cheese for $6.00, same with veggie ground round, $4.50 is good compared to $6-8 dollars for ground beef! Not only is it less expensive it is also cruelty, hormone and chemical free, so in the end vegan-ism wins over in my books!
I have decided to stay away from the processed vegan food because it's more of a junk food item! Yes vegans have junk food items, most "meat" alternatives in my books are junk food! I will happily be making my own burgers this summer, as well as my own ground "beef." Not only is it better for me, it's cost effective and tastes much better when you make it yourself! I made a vegan lasagna with lentils and almond cheese, and it was by far the best lasagna I've had in a long time! I will also start canning my own pickles, store bought pickles have ground up beetles in them to make them the bright green colour! I will also make my own blanched and canned seasonal vegetables, and fruit, because you can never have enough vegetables and fruit on hand. And out of season fruit and vegetables are expensive, so why not can some peaches for the winter, or blanch and can some carrots for soups and stir fry's when you can get them in large quantities at the Farmers Market over the summer! Or even blanch and freeze kale or spinach for green smoothies and soups! I will also can tomatoes, and make my own spaghetti sauce. Along with canning I would like to get into the habit of making my own hummus, breads (using healthier flours), burgers and "meat" alternative items. I want to get into a more healthy, budget friendly, clean way of eating, to better my self but to also set myself up for the future! I know once I move away from home the convenience foods will be easier to reach for, but I don't want to fall into that trap, so I want to train myself to take time each week to pre-make staple items that can be frozen, canned or kept in the refrigerator for later use! I may even get as ambitious as to start making my own nut butters, I am in love with natural peanut butter, but have you seen the cost of it, ouch! I enjoy making my own juice and will start making my own vegan ice cream, so why not progress into a cleaner, healthier, cheaper life style and make more things from scratch, I know my body would thank me, and so would my wallet!
Jumping on the cleaner life style band wagon will not be an easy one, and I often will fall from my path, but I know if I can get into this routine I will be better off for it later! I will post recipes (my own, I don't plan on following many recipes in this journey), and pictures to show my progress!
Cheers to a healthy life style, my carrot orange juice is waiting for me!
Today I when grocery shopping and spent $90 dollars for about half a cart full of items! Not the best shop I have done, although some items where things I wouldn't normally be purchasing. Things such as ginger-ale and fruit popsicles for my sick mom. Most of my cart was fruit and vegetables, things like; 2 containers of blueberries, 2 large bunches of broccoli, 3lb bag of carrots, romaine hearts, and baby cucumbers. I also was able to find two 50% off breads, hummus, veggie burgers, vegan mayo, nutritional yeast, vegan cheese, popsicles, ginger-ale (as mentioned), vegetable broth, canned tomatoes, and multi-grain pretzels (my indulgence). It doesn't seem like much when I list the items purchased, which got me to thinking... half of the items purchased I could make myself for a fraction of the cost! Tree hugging, hippy, veg head speaking! When looking for all fruit popsicle I realized that the second ingredient on said popsicle was sugar, first being blueberries! They were on sale for $4.99 for 6, but I spent $5.00 on two pints of blueberries, so I thought I could use the blueberries and coconut water to make my own fruit popsicles, if only I had popsicle containers to do so! If they weren't required this evening, I would have purchased a popsicle container or two at the dollar store and made my own, which I will start doing anyways!
Again when I put 3 cans of diced tomatoes in my cart I thought, why not make and can my own diced tomatoes, and even spaghetti sauce (which I've already decided to do anyways). Tomatoes, and spaghetti sauce are a staple around here, just like canned beans and legumes are! I not only have canned beans and legumes I also have bags and bags of dried beans and legumes just waiting to be made up for things such as hummus and soups! I was quite reluctant to buy a $4.50 hummus, but at the end of the shopping trip I caved because I wanted hummus! It was too much of a convenience for me to pick it up then it would have been to soak the beans and cook them to then process them into my own hummus! But I want to get away from the convenience piece of things, convenience foods are not always good for you foods! A ingredient list on store bought hummus can be 10 ingredients long, the ingredient list on my homemade hummus is 5 ingredients long, most of those ingredients being spices! If I had the ability to make vegan cheese and vegan mayo I probably would want to do that too, because frankly I'm getting fed up with the rising prices of vegan food choices! Although being vegan will never be as expensive as a meat eaters grocery bill would be, I can spend $5.29 on a package of vegan cheese, where your lucky to get the same amount of dairy cheese for $6.00, same with veggie ground round, $4.50 is good compared to $6-8 dollars for ground beef! Not only is it less expensive it is also cruelty, hormone and chemical free, so in the end vegan-ism wins over in my books!
I have decided to stay away from the processed vegan food because it's more of a junk food item! Yes vegans have junk food items, most "meat" alternatives in my books are junk food! I will happily be making my own burgers this summer, as well as my own ground "beef." Not only is it better for me, it's cost effective and tastes much better when you make it yourself! I made a vegan lasagna with lentils and almond cheese, and it was by far the best lasagna I've had in a long time! I will also start canning my own pickles, store bought pickles have ground up beetles in them to make them the bright green colour! I will also make my own blanched and canned seasonal vegetables, and fruit, because you can never have enough vegetables and fruit on hand. And out of season fruit and vegetables are expensive, so why not can some peaches for the winter, or blanch and can some carrots for soups and stir fry's when you can get them in large quantities at the Farmers Market over the summer! Or even blanch and freeze kale or spinach for green smoothies and soups! I will also can tomatoes, and make my own spaghetti sauce. Along with canning I would like to get into the habit of making my own hummus, breads (using healthier flours), burgers and "meat" alternative items. I want to get into a more healthy, budget friendly, clean way of eating, to better my self but to also set myself up for the future! I know once I move away from home the convenience foods will be easier to reach for, but I don't want to fall into that trap, so I want to train myself to take time each week to pre-make staple items that can be frozen, canned or kept in the refrigerator for later use! I may even get as ambitious as to start making my own nut butters, I am in love with natural peanut butter, but have you seen the cost of it, ouch! I enjoy making my own juice and will start making my own vegan ice cream, so why not progress into a cleaner, healthier, cheaper life style and make more things from scratch, I know my body would thank me, and so would my wallet!
Jumping on the cleaner life style band wagon will not be an easy one, and I often will fall from my path, but I know if I can get into this routine I will be better off for it later! I will post recipes (my own, I don't plan on following many recipes in this journey), and pictures to show my progress!
Cheers to a healthy life style, my carrot orange juice is waiting for me!
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